My mom bought a new house a few weeks ago and the kids have been bugging her to see it so we went over there for a few hours. Kelsey got her birthday present 3 days early and all the kids are obsessed with it. I think Silas views this bear as his new girlfriend.
We went home so we could all take naps but Silas just cried for an hour straight and then his fever returned. I suck with sick kids. I become so anxiety ridden where fevers are concerned because my niece had a high fever before she died. Ack. It makes me sick to my stomach to write about her dying. I'm just a nervous wreck. I'm exhausted but refusing to sleep. It's easier just to stay up and watch him.
I received a text today that I could've turned into complete drama but decided that moving on is being done.
"Did you really delete all my Mit Romney pictures?"
"They're backed up on my Carbonite."
"Can you send them to me when you have a second?"
Silence. I wanted to say, "I deleted them because you deleted all of Silas' videos." I wanted to say, "If I'm in no position to ask you for favors then you're in no position to ask me for favors." I wanted to say, "Maybe someday." I wanted to say, "I think harboring your children for a year and a half without an ounce of help from you was enough." I wanted to say, "Are you crazy?" So, I said nothing. And I decided that as angry as I become when he baits me, because EVERY time he asks me for something he has the opportunity to bait me, I won't respond. Ultimately, I know all the answers to the questions I wanted to reply with, I don't need to give him the opportunity to blame me for his actions which is exactly what I'd be doing by giving him a response. You can show someone who you are until you don't know who you are anymore and losing yourself will never be enough for them.
And with that, I wish you all a wonderful night. I'm going to lay with babycakes.
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