Happy St. Patrick's Day! I couldn't really care less that today is St. Patrick's Day. I'm only Irish because I'm carrying around a little Irish girl for the next 19 weeks. My kids are with their dads today and I am still in my pajamas at 2:13p.m.
I'm sick. As usual. I've had bronchitits for 3.5 weeks. I coughed so hard last night I threw up for 2 hours. Silas had diarrhea all night which is super awesome to change in a half lit bedroom.
I'm jobless. No one in the world wants to hire a pregnant girl. They don't actually SAY that, but I'm pretty amazing when it comes to working and I don't know who WOULDN'T want to hire me. Employers act like pregnancy is a handicap. I have no way to pay my rent or bills. So far, all I can think to do is put all my stuff in storage and live out of my car or go stay in a shelter. I'm literally out of options and my brain is drained.
Everything always works out, but I don't want to rely on anyone and I don't have anyone to rely on anyway. I just want a job. I'm not asking for much. I'm not asking for someone to love me, or take care of me, or make this pregnancy the one I've never had, I just need a job.
I went to the ultrasound apt on Tuesday, (alone) and found out that baby's "absolutely perfect." I still cried. I can't stand how horrible I'm treated while carrying this "perfect" little creature. People are fucking stupid, have no priorities, and take everything for granted. By people, I mean my ex, and every other deadbeat douchebag who doesn't give a shit about anyone but themselves.
I'm annoyed now. Even more so than I was before. It's nap time. Again.
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