The past 3 days have hurt me beyond words. I am strangely trying to feel the pain, rather than push it away, so that I can remember how it feels, and so I stop repeating my mistakes.
He tried to move back in with me for 6 months. Every month I said no. Every month I opened up and revealed another reason why I couldn't allow it. And every month, regarding how much he told me he wanted to be a family, he broke up with me, belittled me, embarrassed me, and broke me down. And what happened? I really needed him. I lost my job, I'm struggling through a high risk pregnancy, my immune system despises me lately so I thought, "maybe this is God's way of telling me I need to let go and trust my ex." So I did. I allowed him to begin moving in. I begin spending money on things I needed but haven't had the money to buy due to one income. And what happens? His "good friend" dies and within 4 days his behavior towards the "family" turns cold. He turns his back on my kids because he couldn't figure out which one of them ate his reese cup. He tells them he can't live here because theyre liars. He becomes infuriated with me because I had bronchitis and was unable to make him dinner. He spends the night at his moms, "doing laundry." He attends a funeral and when I ask to go along with him, he refuses. And he refused because of his ex.
After I told him his behavior was unacceptable and that grieving is no excuse to rekindle old flames, he put two status updates about me on facebook. This couldn't be more painful to me. Why? He carries a gun and mirrors Drew Peterson. It terrifies me to have someone use my whole name, making horrible and false accusations about me, putting pregnant me and my kids in danger, and then watching onlookers diagnose me, encourage him, and call him a good dad. More than a dozen people on his page prove to be as jacked up as he is and what any or all of them could do to me and my kids scares the life out of me.
What good dad endangers their infant and unborn child on a social networking site? What good dad claims their pregnant ex needs to be disposed of? What good dad calls someone trashy, a hussy, a psycho, white trash, a cunt, etc.? He's displaying the behaviors he claims I am. And no one notices. I actually feel embarrassed for him and even more embarrassed for his "friends" who participate in this. They should all be ashamed. Anyone who was his real friend would remind him that his behavior on facebook last year this time is why he has such limited visitation. Good job, "good dad."
Good job. And real good job choosing to use your exes grieving period to weasel your way back into her life...choosing her over "being the family" you wanted for 6 months...choosing her over being involved in the pregnancy and the birth of your own daughter. Good job. His ex is so important to him that he had to rip me apart online because I defended the family he led me to believe we were.
It's just fuckin sick. I filed a police report yesterday a.m. and kept my kids home from school today because I am/was too scared. And I don't know what to do anymore.
He tried to move back in with me for 6 months. Every month I said no. Every month I opened up and revealed another reason why I couldn't allow it. And every month, regarding how much he told me he wanted to be a family, he broke up with me, belittled me, embarrassed me, and broke me down. And what happened? I really needed him. I lost my job, I'm struggling through a high risk pregnancy, my immune system despises me lately so I thought, "maybe this is God's way of telling me I need to let go and trust my ex." So I did. I allowed him to begin moving in. I begin spending money on things I needed but haven't had the money to buy due to one income. And what happens? His "good friend" dies and within 4 days his behavior towards the "family" turns cold. He turns his back on my kids because he couldn't figure out which one of them ate his reese cup. He tells them he can't live here because theyre liars. He becomes infuriated with me because I had bronchitis and was unable to make him dinner. He spends the night at his moms, "doing laundry." He attends a funeral and when I ask to go along with him, he refuses. And he refused because of his ex.
After I told him his behavior was unacceptable and that grieving is no excuse to rekindle old flames, he put two status updates about me on facebook. This couldn't be more painful to me. Why? He carries a gun and mirrors Drew Peterson. It terrifies me to have someone use my whole name, making horrible and false accusations about me, putting pregnant me and my kids in danger, and then watching onlookers diagnose me, encourage him, and call him a good dad. More than a dozen people on his page prove to be as jacked up as he is and what any or all of them could do to me and my kids scares the life out of me.
What good dad endangers their infant and unborn child on a social networking site? What good dad claims their pregnant ex needs to be disposed of? What good dad calls someone trashy, a hussy, a psycho, white trash, a cunt, etc.? He's displaying the behaviors he claims I am. And no one notices. I actually feel embarrassed for him and even more embarrassed for his "friends" who participate in this. They should all be ashamed. Anyone who was his real friend would remind him that his behavior on facebook last year this time is why he has such limited visitation. Good job, "good dad."
Good job. And real good job choosing to use your exes grieving period to weasel your way back into her life...choosing her over "being the family" you wanted for 6 months...choosing her over being involved in the pregnancy and the birth of your own daughter. Good job. His ex is so important to him that he had to rip me apart online because I defended the family he led me to believe we were.
It's just fuckin sick. I filed a police report yesterday a.m. and kept my kids home from school today because I am/was too scared. And I don't know what to do anymore.
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