The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorderhas been especially useful and full of tips on how to deal with the BPD person.
The most consistent advice for dealing with a BPD is to go no contact with them. As in, there is really no good way to deal with a person with this disorder.
These people will always cycle through friends, and find themselves at odds with everyone at some point. They "paint people black" who just a week ago they put up on a pedestal. They are always fighting imagined threats, always thinking people are out to get them, take things from them, talking about them behind their backs, or going to abandon them.
They live in these fantasy worlds where they are the victim and often times will regularly abuse the legal system by filing false restraining orders and claiming things like domestic abuse when in fact they themselves are the abusers.
They are the mothers with Munchhausen syndrome who are constantly eating up the attention of ERs from having "sick" children, and the attention seekers who tell so many lies about their "hard life" and how everyone has abused them that they actually begin to believe their own lies and gain sympathy and help from soft hearted people who want to do the right thing.
And then, when everything unravels, and the people who have been helping them, start to realize the actual truth about them, and who they are actually dealing with, they will turn on those people too. And the cycle of abuse starts all over again and again and again with new people.Over the past 2.5 years I've read a ton of articles about different mood disorders but have never really been able to nail the experiences I have with this guy on the head. Well, this hit home. Every sentence in the above paragraphs are what I go through on an oh-so regular basis. I feel a little more at ease knowing that there's nothing that will change him. He will never seek medication or therapy. He will just bully me in every aspect of my life and I've detached so much but he's even punishing me for that. There's no winning.
No one reads this blog and that's probably a good thing. I started it because I had to go to court last year for major charges pressed against me by him over and incident that didn't really occur. Since then I've documented everything I possibly could to protect me and my children. Had I been found guilty my life would be altered negatively forever. He ruined parts of my life and mocks me for it every time he gets mad. It doesn't make me mad anymore. I just stopped loving him...or hoping for him. As I re-read what I just wrote I want to include that my life, as sad as I feel right now, isn't ruined. It's just harder than it's ever been. I had some sort of spiritual epiphany the other day while showering and realized that what he did to me is a blessing. It made me remove my rose colored glasses and everlasting pathetic hope. It took a very long time to get where I am now and I'm not where I want to be because I'm 30 weeks pregnant and unable to find a job. He's living here, moved himself in a few weeks ago when I asked him to babysit, and refuses to leave. I'm so drained I don't know what to do and my anxiety is so high that I went on Zoloft last Friday just so that my heart would stop palpating. He can't ever find that out because he'll mock me and call them my "anti-psychotics." Why am I so miserable? Because I want to move on but I'm stuck for the next 4-5 months. I just want to be happy and he is such a leech who sucks all the happiness out of everyone around him.
We're walking on eggshells all the time.
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