Monday, April 1, 2013
Please stop kicking my ass.
I try really hard. I try to be accommodating, thoughtful, appreciative, respectful, motivated, accepting, understanding... You get it. I try. It's so hard to be these things to someone that uses you. I'm also tired of being so cryptic. Even with myself. I want to be loved and to have a good relationship. I want my words to be seen as honest ones instead of as insults. I want a self esteem and I want to believe in myself. I want to stop deceiving myself. People don't change unless they don't like themselves. I can't say they don't change because I know I did. But only because I hated myself. I'm going to be 30 in 5 days. I can't wait. I hated my 20's minus my kids. No repeats please.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Maybe, and this is just my opinion which means nothing, you're too accommodating, accepting, understanding. There's nothing wrong with being any of the things you listed until being them for something else is at the expense of your happiness, well being, self esteem. You shouldn't have to work so hard for someone else. And there's nothing wrong with not being accepting and understanding of everything. You SHOULDN'T accept someone using you, for instance. There is never a good reason for that. You have ever right to put your foot down. From the little I know about you, I think you do believe in yourself but that's it's easier to believe put-downs, whether you're putting down yourself or someone else is. Hope your 30s are good for you.
ReplyDelete