A star is born!

I am officially a single mother of 4.  FOUR!!!!  Holy moly.  On July 18, on my way out to eat with my bff Meghan, her daughter, and Silas, (Chris and Kelsey were at summer camp for the week) the increasing pain in my butt hole caused me to call my doctor, who told me to come on in so he could check me out, and I was 3cm dilated, 80% effaced, and my contractions were 3 minutes apart.  Here's the stupid part.  Since he wasn't on call, he sent me home and told me to come back to the hospital around 8p.m. if I was still feeling uncomfortable.  So, we went to Bob Evans and then went to Babies R Us because I had a gift card to spend...and I didn't have any diapers for the new baby.  While we were out I used the restroom only to find that I was bleeding.  Everywhere.  I paid for the diapers, we dropped off Meghan's daughter at a sitter, stopped at my house so I could pack a bag, and drove to the hospital while my ex harassed me through text/my ex's mom comforted me through text.  Radness all around.

We arrived at the hospital around 7:45p.m., I was already checked in, a nurse, (the nicest nurse EVER, Faye) wheeled me upstairs, and gowned and monitored me up.  I was ready to go.  The pressure on my butt hole was ridiculous and all I kept saying was, "my butt hole's going to fly off."  The on call doctor came in, who didn't want to deliver anyone who wasn't her patient, and was a complete and total brat.  She checked my cervix and the monitor, said my cervix was the same as it was at my Dr.'s office, and that my contractions were probably being caused by a U.T.I. so they collected a urine sample.  She wanted to send me home but I refused to leave.  Jerks.  Since when do U.T.I.'s make you feel like you have to push a baby out of your foof?  IDIOTS!  While they were waiting for lab results I walked some laps around the hallway and drank some water, laid back down an hour later, and had my cervix checked again.  4cm dilated 100% effaced.  I was beyond ready for them to give me an epidural and break my water so I could get the show on the road. BUT the anesthesiologist was in an emergency appendectomy by this time and was unable to leave the surgery until it was complete.  The nurse and doctor told me this while my arm was being poked and prodded with needles to blow my veins...I mean...to start my I.V. so I just started to sob.  I've never cried during labor, but I've also never had pain in so many areas of my body at one time.  On top of the letdown that I couldn't receive an epidural at that time they told me that I'd have to wait at least 4 hours to have her because I was group B strep positive, as I was with my other daughter...weird, and they needed to administer I.V. antibiotics during that time period.  I was super thrilled with my awesome experience by this point but I'm not much of a complainer so Meghan got an attitude with the nurse and the doctor.  Magically, I received a shot of nubain and less than a half hour later I got an epidural!!  When I was in labor with Silas I got to 7cm dilated without an epidural but this labor was way more horrendous.  Butt hole pressure is so scary that I had my butt cheeks smooshed together the entire time because I literally believed she would fly right out.  After the epidural I was in heaven.  I dozed in an out for awhile until the nurse checked me and told me it was time to push.  I pushed through 1.5 contractions and she was out!!

Miss Stella Kathleen aka Stella Kat

7lbs 10oz 19.5"

7/19/2012 @ 5:35 a.m.

Since I am not the jerk I wish I still was, my ex was present and she has her brother's last name because I didn't want him to be an outcast.  The ex is now refusing to be in their lives, only held his daughter twice, has never changed her diaper, and tried to ban his mother from seeing the babies.  My heart hurts.  A lot.  And he's now seeing someone who has kids but it would ultimately the absolute best thing if he didn't have anything to do with them.  They're unbelievably wonderful.  Stella Kat is the sweetest baby girl.  Her cord fell off today so she showered with me and she was in love with the shower.  That's my girl!!

Her first week home:

I'm starting to question whether or not there really is enough mommy to go around.  I have 4 kids!!!

I may not have the best of everything. But that's just your opinion.

Thank God it's not 98 degrees today.  The heat makes me throw up spontaneously.  I have central air, another thing to be thankful for, but after it gets to a certain temperature outside c/a doesn't do much of anything.  Today was different.  Phew!  I was able to stay outside with the kids all day.  All I ever want to be is a stay at home mom.  I love cooking and cleaning and laundry and crafting.  I love that everyday I find another small project to complete.  With 3 kids I've compiled an enormous list of small projects.  I could keep myself busy for years.  I love listening to my kids' weird conversations and watching them play together.  It's gotta be one of the coolest things in the world to have siblings.

Silas makes a new sound every few hours.  I sometimes wish he'd put them all together and say what he wants instead of having mini meltdowns when he gets frustrated but I find myself loving, maybe a little too much, that he's still such a baby in some ways.  

He can say:  Ya, no, baba, momma, uh oh, oh, oh no, wow, thee kee (thank you), issy (sissy), bye, mmmnumanumanuma (he wants food)

He still wakes up for a ba at 5a.m. like clockwork.  He's been sleeping in his toddler bed...most of the time...but he often wakes up, runs down the hall to my room, and says, "momma iwa up up!"  I can't resist that!  He's my buddy.  I have a bond with him I've never had with my older two because they had each other.  I'm hoping he'll still be my buddy when Stella Kat arrives.  Right now he's not too fond of her...he yells "no" at my belly when he sees it.  Adorable!

I got bored with facebook so I deleted it last week.  Any way to keep my life mine is wonderful and gives me so much energy for productive experiences.  Plus, I'm just bored in general with social networking.  I'd rather get together with people in person than only online.  All in all I'm happy.  I went to the doctor last week and I'm 1cm dilated and 50% effaced.  He wants to induce me on 7/21 so Silas and Stella don't have the same birthday but I figure if I get to the 21st and she's still in there, let's see when she comes out on her own.  It no longer bothers me if they have the same birthday.  I can prepare a huge birthday bash just fine.

Yawn!  Nap time.

Day 4 minus confusion: Oh the places we will go.

My oldest and I are sunburned a bit and, holy poop, it's uncomfortable to be burnt and pregnant!  My skin hates me during pregnancy anyway and now it REALLY hates me.  It's dry, stingy, and itchy.  Yum.

It was a great day though.  I find so much enjoyment in my children.  Everything about them makes me happy.  I hope that when I go back to work I find a job that's pretty flexible so I can be around them as much as possible.  I LOVE spending time with them more than anything in the world.  We went out to breakfast in Port Clinton and then to East Harbor beach.  Super long drive when you're antsy like me and forgot babycake's binky but we needed to get out of the house and far away from it.

I just adore these babies so much.  Getting out of the dramatic relationship makes me feel like me again.  I love to just sit back, relax, and take comfort in the little things.  It's just how I am.  "A pothead who doesn't smoke pot."

As pumped as I am to have this baby I'm not ready to deliver yet!  My body's behaving otherwise.  For the past few hours, it's been pretty difficult to walk.  There's so much pressure in my pelvis and I'd like it to stop!

35 weeks <3